new

i'm trying to see if this will cut the cost of seeing a therapist. I always had a diary growing up. so now i'm moving into this arena. i think i probably need to get a dog too. since it's all about trying to feel better. or acquire some relief.

Halloween was fun. i actually went out. which is something that i don't do very often. it was fun. it really was. i don't think i was stressed out, probably due to the fact that i was drunk on cava. which is fun. i drank with a small abandon, not worrying about how i was going to feel the next day. which was nice. anxiety: that always puts a damper on the party. like this afternoon. i saw some friends and was worried how i was going to feel later on this evening. then to make things a little more stressful, I looked up the definition of delirium tremens. worried that every sip is causing me harm. or like some fucked up chain that i continue to create. i know it's not the best i can do for my body, but i enjoy it. i just worry about crossing the fuzzy boundary of enjoyment to dependence.

how many times does the word worry appear in this entry.